Shakespeare Essay Thang

We've all read his stuff, or at least heard of it, William Shakespeare is possibly one of the most renowned writers of all time. But why do we worship him for being the greatest? Is he really that good of a writer? What's so special about Shakespeare?

I'm going to give you some piece of mind as to why I think Will Shakespeare really isn't that great, and why his writing should be put to rest with the rest of his material form.

Let's start with the biggest problem I have with his stories, the language. "Oh it's so poetic and beautiful!" can be applied to a lot of it or so people say. But it really sounds like shit if you put it into a modern setting or theme, that may have been the way of a good four hundred or six hundred years ago but not anymore. People talk as I'm typing right now and I can't hear a single thing that resembles the lingual structure of a Shakespearean play. This makes it instantaneously less enjoyable for me, it feels less real and I don't feel at all into the story. None of the characters speak the way you'd expect someone to speak since we're a bit far from those times, and while that's fine I guess and some people probably feel more immersed it makes the story extremely hard to follow for me. Call me thick or whatever, but you're the one choosing to read this.

This brings me to my second issue with Shakespeare's plays, characters. They're extremely over dramatic and could be comparable to that of a soap opera (in my opinion). Boy do I hate soap operas. This style of everyone overreacting to anything happening and stabbing each other in the back does not really drag me into the story, I get enough of that in the real world. I don't enjoy drama whatsoever, I think a good adventure or tale of slaying the dragon would be preferable, you don't get that just walking out your front door. I feel Shakespeare's plays aren't very imaginative, in other words. In the extreme case of Romeo and Juliet the lead characters end up killing themselves because they can't marry, that's it. It's nothing extreme or interesting but ends in some over-the-top murder. I can't find any enjoyment in that at all.

While those are really the only major gripes I have with William's plays, there's some little things that tick me off too. His stories have seemed somewhat lengthy to me, as far as a play would go. Once again, call me thick but you're choosing to read this. It all seems very lengthy and wordy, even something so simple as telling a messenger to deliver a letter. It's all strung out. maybe this is something you enjoy but if I'm telling someone to cook me up a burger I'm just going to say I want a cheeseburga. I'm not explaining what about burgers attracts me to their taste as I caress the chef to persuade him to let me have it for free and I'm not saying a meat patty with two buns and but a slice of cheese! Please fine sir, do not forget the lettuce. Oh how I enjoyed it in my youth, and still do!

I think that's about it. The stories just really aren't interesting to me, and I don't see any reason for Shakespeare to be better than J. R. R. Tolkien or whoever the flip the writer of Twilight was, if anything he's an equal to a lot of modern day material. Not the best though. Hopefully this entire thing wasn't super irrelevant, but I really don't like Shakespeare.


*** I don't have any sources to cite? This is entirely off the top of my head. I'd appreciate it if a peer could convince me these plays are worth the time though, I in fact, challenge you to.